Ten Things That Really Tick Me Off

Did you ever just take the time to think about all the things that really ticks you off? I have. Sometimes it takes me several days to put one behind me and just get over it. If I ever do, that is. So I decided to take the time to set down and talk about them. Seems like the worst places to get ticked off is in a parking lot, driving, at the movies.... I could go on for days, but I won't. So I am making my list of my top ten "Things That Really Tick Me Off."

Taking Up Two Parking Spaces - Who taught these people to park? I was at walmart last night and a pickup truck was angled so no one could get next to him. It was intentional. Took me several tries, but I managed to squeeze in. Had to crawl out my window to get out, but it was worth it. Decided when I went in to the store I was a bit hungry so I stopped off at subway and had a snack. After having my veggie sub, decided to go by electronics and try out the video games they have. Never know .... might come in handy someday. Needless to say, I took my time.

Blocking The Driveway - Idiots with drivers licenses still amaze me. It so happened my neighbors across the street was hosting a party. The guests arrived early thus saying, there was no available parking for a block. Husband comes home and has to park a mile away and walk in. So he is being the nice guy and asks the guests to move the car. Now usually I would like to think most people would move their car, and most probably do, but not this time.

We wake up the next morning and guess ... the car is still blocking our driveway. My husband was furious. I calmly went out and moved the sprinkler over to the driveway (looked like it needed a drink), then I turned the sprinkler on full blast . Of coarse I watered the driveway only a short time, about four hours. This works best when the car is a red convertible and the driver carelessly leaves the top down.

Being Splashed By Moving Vehicles - I have yet to be splashed standing on the sidewalk, but I have been splashed a number of times in my car. When it's a good day, I have my window up. The only way I can deal with this is to catch up to them and pull out the old trusty water gun. It doesn't do much damage but it sure makes me feel better. Yes I keep a loaded water gun in my car... for a rainy day.

Being Left At Home - Let me digress, being left at home while the husband goes to the ball game by himself since he was able to only get one ticket, but picks up all his buddies (who mysteriously was able to get tickets) and stays for hours, drinking beer, hooting, scratching, belching, drinking beer, bonding, eating, betting, drinking beer .... . Well I figure between the five of them they had enough suds to float a boat. You know it is against the law to drink and drive, right? My favorite thing to do is simple, move the car. Move the car from the south side of the complex to the north side of the complex. By the time they find the car... they will be sober.

The Buddy Pile - It used to happen at my house over the cubs games. We lived right outside the city limits and all the buddies lived in town. City had one cable company, and the county had another. City didn't receive WGN network, and the county did. Lucky me. Do you have any idea how many cub games there are in a season? Twice a week the toilet clogged. Buddies invited their buddies, who invited their buddies, and so on. The cool thing about our house... the cable line screwed right into the siding of the house. I would go outside, walk around to the cable connection, and unscrew it. I could see right through the window. I waited till they all got up. Oh, the stress of it all! The husband, of coarse, turned and twisted every knob on the television (yes our television had knobs) and after many of them were half bald, I screwed it back in. This is a great remedy to the buddy pile, but may need to be repeated several times to get a desirable effect.

Crumbs In Bed - Why do people eat in bed. Can't you sit down at the table or at least stand in the kitchen and finish those crumbly gritty snacks? I like nothing better than to wake up with a nutter butter stuck to my butt. How did you know? My husband would wake up every night around twelve or one, slip out of bed, get a hand full of Honey Smacks... maybe two, then crawl back in bed with his treasure. OK, I made nice and asked him to please not bring food to bed. I simply could not stand cereal stuck to the sheets. He told me he didn't bring food to bed, he didn't even wake up at night. Hmmm... . Must be a rat I hear in the kitchen at night. *smile* You can try this at home. I would wake up, get cereal, dampen it, and then stick it to his face, in his hair (chest hair included), where ever I had good access. Watch their face when they see themselves in the morning. I caught myself enjoying this. Its also a lot of fun rotating silverware, tools, and barbie dolls on other nights. My favorite was putting tools in bed with him, then slipping outside and raising the hood on the car, and leaving it up. This only gets the full effect if your intended target sleeps in the buff. Barbie dolls get a very close second. This seems to really disturb men for some reason.

Nosing Around My Internet Account - My Ex-husband, yes... my ex-husband, was very jealous and was constantly cracking my password and logging in my account to see my email, who was instant messaging me and so on. That really ticked me off. I had that huge Internet server that announced "You Have Mail." I kept changing my password to my account and two days later, it would be breached again. I actually caught him on-line. This was a fun one to remedy but only works if they are living with a new girlfriend, new wife or my personal favorite... their mom. Go to every exotic website you can find and put their email address in it for free trials. Send a few to their mom's email account. Spend hours... . Enjoy!

Married Men Romancing In Chat Rooms - Who are these jerks anyway. They so blatantly post in their profiles that they are married, looking for a good time. Like good girls would be interested. This one you need help with. My best friend Becca (whom I will call Bernice to protect her identity... haha) would both get on-line and hit the chat rooms and seek out these germs. When one of us would get a personal chat invitation, we would accept and then look up the profile. There are so many of these dweebs out there. When we located one, we would i.m. each other and then go to work. It is what I call mother-in-lawing. We would each gang up on him in the chat room until he ran. They always go to another chat room. We follow them. This is a lot of fun.

Packed Elevators - Am I the only person this bothers? Have you ever been on an elevator, and then every floor more people get on. Can't they read the capacity warning posted clearly on the wall? A quick fix for this is, in a clear voice, simply say, I feel sick. You would not believe the space you will suddenly have to move around.

Top Ten Lists - Gotcha there didn't I? Not all of them, just the really dumb ones. So stop already.

I spoke my piece, although there are many more things that tick me off. These irritate me most of all. Hope you enjoyed my lists. Leave comments if you like. Stop by again.