Its Not Safe At Home

Okay, I have to give the men a fair shake once in a while so here is an actual average day in a household filled with a lack of testosterone and rimming with estrogen. I could just say, one man and five women. Imagine a summer day, work is going well, you feel great, until the first phone call from home.

Hello...

Hey Dad, when you come home could you bring me some tampons?

What kind do you need?

Tampax pearl super absorbency.

Okay it'll be around six when I get home.

Okay Dad, I'm out so don't forget.

I won't. Hey, will you feed the dogs for me please?

Why don't you ask Joy or Janah? Why are you asking me? I am getting tired of always being the one to feed the dogs. They aren't even mine..... (the ranting goes on for the next ten minutes).

Okay fine Tamara. I'll feed the dogs, never mind.

Thirty Minutes Later

Hello...

Hey Mark, When are you coming home?

Around six I suppose, why?

When you come home, will you bring me some tampons?

I guess so, what kind do you need?

OB's, can you get the multi pack please?

Yeah, I had to stop at the store anyway.

Thanks.

You betcha'. Will you take out the trash for me?

Why do I have to always take out the trash? You never ask Tamara or Janah to take out the trash. I took trash out last time.

Tamara never takes out the trash and Janah won't unless she hauls in around in the car... ( this goes on another few minutes).

Fine, don't take the trash. I'll do it myself before I ask you or Tamara to take it. I'll see you when I get home.

Thirty Minutes Later

Hello...

Hey Mark.

Hey Janah, Whats up?

Can you stop by the store on you way home?

Yeah I was going to anyway, what do you need?

I need some maxi pads with wings.

Any brand?

No, I like the Kotex overnight ones the best.

Okay I'll get them. Do me a favor, will you change out the cat box?

Why do I have to change out the cat box? None of the cats are mine. Why don't you ask Tamara. It's her cat that uses the box.

Joys cat goes out side. I changed the litter out last time... (another ten minutes goes by).

Okay, never mind, I'm sorry I asked. I'll see ya tonight.

One Hour Later

Hello...

Hey honey.

What's up?

Not much here, girls are all arguing over who's supposed to be feeding the dogs, who's supposed to be hauling trash and who's supposed to change the cat litter. Don't worry, the strongest will survive.

Yeah, well it's getting busy here, what did you need?

I just need you to stop by the store and pick me up some tampons.

There is a long silence.

Can you use Tampax pearl or OB's?

No, I don't like the plastic applicators that pearls come in and OB's don't even have an applicator.

What kind do you want?

Tampax regular with the cardboard applicator.

Okay. It'll be about six when I come by.

( I didn't say anything, but I wondered why he said "come by".)

Is Sydney there?

Yeah, she's here.

Put her on.

Hi Daddy...

Hi Sydney.

You at work?

Yes, I am at work. Do me a favor.

Okay.

I will be home at six. When I get there, I need you to carry some things in the house for me. Okay?

Yeah.

Then you can come back to the car. We are going somewhere.

Where are we going Daddy?

Anywhere but home.

This is a true account of one day in our home. None of us knew the other had called and we were equally unaware of our female situations. That is until our requests were delivered and the delivery boy ran off with the youngest. So three cheers for the men in our life who puts up with our endless complaints and tirades. No bull....